It is no secret that I have a permanent seat on an emotional roller coaster. The ups and downs on this ride seem to be coming more rapidly than usual. Recently I feel as though every time I turn around I am being put down in some way. I am constantly feeling attacked, as though everything I do is wrong. It has been slowly destroying every part of me, yet, I mostly smile and bear it. And when I don't smile and bear it, then there is something wrong with me.
Even though this has been my battle over the last two months, I am learning that I have a choice. A good friend told me that yesterday. He said, you have the choice, and it made me realize that I do. I can choose to be happy, or I can choose to let people's belittlement tear me apart. I know how God feels about me...and that's all that matters. I am a child of the Almightly and everything that I am is what He is making me. If other people don't like it, well...they can get over it. I am tired of living for everyone else. I am only interested in what God has for me right now!
There are a couple of people I could not get through this without...Amanda...you are always there for me...ALWAYS...you are the best friend that I could ever ask for. I love you so very much. Shawn...thank you...for always reminding me that I am WAY too emotional...and that I have the choice to be happy...I thank God you are in my life...Taylor...You make me laugh...and even though your advice is full of holes...I love you for all that you are...Jeff...if it weren't for you...well...I don't know what I would do...I am going to get through this...I know it...
I am just happy...because that's how I choose to be...
