Last night I was talking to God. It was a good talk, a really good talk. One of those talks that leaves you feeling satisfied. There are times when I feel that my relationship with God has become like the relationship I have with my friend Christa. She is probably one of the people who knows the most about me. I would tell her anything, and I know that she would never reveal my secrets to anyone. I love every second I spend with her, and we have a give and take relationship. We share equal talking time and genuinely care about what is going on in each others lives. So, that's a good thing, right? Well, you see, Christa and I are very close, and we see each other every Sunday at church, but we both have very busy lives that don't allow us to get together on a regular basis. Instead, we carve out time once every three months or so to spend about five hours drinking coffee and catching up. This works well for us and allows us to maintain an extremely important relationship, but sometimes I feel like that's what we do to God. We make time, every once and a while to meet with God, to catch up and chat.
In contrast, I have my two best friends, my sister Megan and my friend Amanda. I see them both several times a week. I text them more than anyone else and I am constantly, and I do mean constantly, telling them how much they mean to me and how horrible my life would be without them. They are the first ones I go to when I have any sort of news about my life. When I meet a guy...OK, OK, that doesn't really happen, but if it did they would be the first ones I would tell. They are the ones who have seen me cry the most. They love me, despite the fact that I'm crazy, and they aren't afraid to tell me when I've messed up. They have been there for me through thick and thin. I've built these relationships (well, Megan was kind of built in to my life, but we don't have to be as close as we are). They are something that I constantly have to work on, because I don't want to lose either of them.
Now, you have to understand. I wouldn't want to have a life without Christa, but if we spent more time together, we would be closer than we are. Our friendship works well for us. She has her closest friends, and I have mine, but we like having each other as well.
I guess my point is...I want to be one of God's closest friends, and I want Him to be mine too. We get too comfortable with an occasional relationship with God. He becomes that friend that is close, but not close enough to spend every day with. He becomes something that we check off our list of things to do. He should be a constant everyday thing. I want to make Him my constant everyday thing. I no longer want to be comfortable with an occasional relationship with God! He has done so much for me, who am I to think that my time is more important than my time with Him.
I have been so frustrated the past few weeks. I will be the first to say that I am not perfect, that I have messed up and that I am a sinner, but I know what it means to be a Christian. How can we constantly confess God with our tongues and then deny Him with our lives. This is why I have to change. I need to be a true Christian. I don't want to be lukewarm or cold. I want to be on fire. I want to be like Jeremiah...the word of God like a fire shut up in my bones...I want to let it out! God give me the strength to be all that you have called me to be, and to meet with you on a daily basis. Help me build a lasting relationship with you and if I let it slip into something more casual, let my spirit be quickened to it.
God gave everything. We should give nothing less.
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