Respect Her Journey

I used to have a friend who would tell me, when I was feeling down about not having reached the milestone of marriage, that marriage isn't an accomplishment. She would tell me that my success wasn't measured by my marital status. Mean, ugly people get married too.

I've been thinking about this a lot recently, about how each person has their own path to walk, and what it means for us to let them fully embrace that journey. One of my friends posted the other day about feeling condemned for buying formula, because everyone knows "breast is best". However, if you knew the steps her path have taken her on, you would know why formula was the best option for her and her baby. Who are we to tell her that she's wrong?

My sister and I joke a lot about the fact that when it comes time for me to have my own children, I will probably need drugs. She delivered both of her's without drugs. Does that mean I will be less of a champion, less of a mom? No…it just means my path may be different.

We have a tendency to listen with the intent to speak. Before the other person has ended their sentence, we are already contemplating how we want to respond. With this concept in mind, how different would it be for us to listen with the intent of accepting the words that are being spoken? Next time someone has a different path than your's, why don't you try to hear their story. You want them to respect your decisions, so the least you can do is respect theirs.

Listen to their story and your vision will begin to expand.

I see this inability to accept others play out on an almost daily basis. We decide what is right according to us and any deviation from that is obviously wrong. I lived a lot of my life that way. I saw everything as black and white. There were no shades of grey. What I have learned is that I will never fully understand someone's decisions without fully understanding their circumstances. Even then it can be questionable.

Remember to take a step back. Move your own view around. Try to think of where they are coming from, what they have been through, and how you can accept them where they are, not where you think they should be.

It's easy to think you have all of the answers, it's harder to admit that you aren't always right. This is for all of those out there who just want to have your decisions respected. This is also for those who will never have that chance.