A Single Serving Please

If you know me, you know that I am quite content in my single status. But I think that my fellow singles would agree there are times when your status seems to be amplified. Tonight I sat at church sandwiched by married and dating couples. I couldn't help but notice and wonder why it is in those moments that you truly feel alone. They are my friends and would never want me to feel that way, but I couldn't help it.

Now, don't get me wrong, I truly do enjoy being single. I am my own person and quite unique in many ways. I feel that if I were to attempt getting into a realtionship on my own that I would be settling for Mr. Right Now instead of Mr. Right. I want to wait on God's timing. That could mean it will happen tomorrow or maybe ten years from now, but I have dated guys who weren't right for me, and I don't want to go through that again. I'm reading this book called "What's a Girl to Do?: While Waiting for Mr. Right" and I love it. The author has so much wit and she gets past all the fluff and dives right in there. She talks a real talk and yesterday I read a part where she said her prayer sounded something like this..."God I know that to you a day is like a thousand years, but I do not have that long, please, if you could, hurry it up a little." I thought this was hilarious in the fact that we all do it. We want it to be God's timing, but sometimes that's just not soon enough.

I am willing to wait, even if that means I have be a single "serving" for a few more years. I know God will bless all that I am and all that I do. Just sucks when those moments like above happen and that's what you think of. To all my coupled friends out there, you know I love ya, and to my other single servings, don't get discouraged but hold on to God's promises, that's what I am choosing to do.

Do Not Put Me in a Box

Today I sit here trying to remember that I am me and no one else can make my decisions for me. I have always struggled with this concept, thinking that somehow I must make my decisions for everyone else. Take my job situation for instance. I sit here with the opportunity to work in a library or to teach. Now there are positives and negatives to both of these positions, but as I have carefully weighed my options I have decided to go with the library. Some people might sit there and make a face (which they have) but I am very different than others and I enjoyed working in a library when I was in college and believe that I will continue to do so for years to come. This position provides me with the opportunity to persue a level of higher education and the chance to gain experience in order to work at any library in America, maybe even the world.

Now you might sit there and say, sounds like you have made your decision. One would think that this is a correct assumption, yet, you are not my mother. I love her, but she could drive a crazy person sane. I want to assure her that I am doing what I want to do, but for some reason it is not that easy.

I guess that I needed somewhere to vent my frustrations. I want to be happy, yet I do not think that people truly understand what it is that would make me happy. Only I can take the steps needed to fulfill areas in my life. I want to be my own person, void of external suggestion. There comes a time when your decisions effect you and you alone. I am at that point. If I stay here and work, then it is my life that I am putting here. I ask no one else to make the same choice. I am me, and I will continue to be me even when all the other voices have been drowned out. It is whether or not I will like who I am once those voices are gone that is the true question. I want the answer to be yes. And for that reason I must choose for me.

This Crazy Little Thing Called Life

My life has been a non-stop buzz since I have been back in Florida. On Friday I went to Daytona to work the Pepsi 400. It was insane. I am a big people watcher and as I watched people there I realized that race fans are almost an entire breed unto themselves. Please be aware of the fast approaching rant...I just don't understand what the big deal is. These men (and women) get into these cars and race at dangerous speeds...sounds kinda cool, until you add in the fact that thousands of people sit there and watch them go around and around and around...it never ends...and it isn't exciting. AHHHH!!!! These people are insane...add in the fact that they are drunk off their butts and you get a great combination. End rant. Saturday was pretty much the same...but due to rain the race was delayed and we didn't leave until almost 11...which meant that we didn't get home until 3:30.

Sunday we got up and went to church and afterwards we had a church picnic. It was fun and we all had a good time. When we got home we all took a nap...and we barely got up in time to get to Earnie and Kim's, but once we were there we had a great time! We ate and played games. I learned to play mafia, and I had so much fun. On Monday we went to Charlie and Melissa's for the 4th, we ate and swam...played some cards...I learned to play spades...Fireworks were an obvious choice for the night and then we went back to Charlie and Melissa's and swam. It was good times.

Yesterday I went to Epcot with Abs and Tara and Michelle. I had so much fun I can't even beging to explain. I think my moment of the day was when I was in Norway and I asked the guy working the ride where he was from...I knew that he had to be from Norway, but I mean where in Norway...They really thought that was funny...oh well...he was cute so it was cool...

This is my life now...one event after the next. Welcome to my crazy life.