I read this bulletin from Rachel and wanted to repost it here. It made me cry because I am so many of those things. I hate feeling like I will never be good enough. I hate this feeling of inadequacy. I want, just once, to mean something to someone. I hate the tears that fall down my face, because each one reminds me that I am alone. Will I ever find someone who loves me the way that someone is meant to be loved?
I have only been in love once and I suppose that person knows who they are, but I would die if they ever admitted it. I loved him, and I still do (although in a different way). I'm scared that I will never love anyone else that much (and that REALLY, REALLY scares me). I think more than anything this is why I don't like this time of the year, because, even surrounded by so many people, I feel so very alone.
I truly believe that the only thing left for me to do is give up. I will never find love, and I have to be ok with that. Please don't give me the "Jessica you will find someone," "Jessica you are a beautiful person," "Jessica, everything is going to work out." Honestly, I've heard now for almost six years...I just can't keep hoping only to be continuously disappointed.
Please forgive my Christmas downer, but this is how I feel right now. Struggling for breath and bleary-eyed from tears. I leave with a Merry Christmas.
Until Next Time
-To every girl who wants to be called beautiful not hot.
-To every girl that will spend her whole day looking for the perfect birthday present for you.
-To every girl who gets her heart broken because he chose the other girl instead.
-To every girl who is nice to everyone no matter who they are.
-To every girl that would die to have a decent boyfriend.
-To every girl that won't settle for the jerk.
-To every girl who would just like once to be treated like a princess.
-To every girl that cries at night because of another HeArTBrEaK.
-To every girl that won't get down on her knees and open her mouth just to get a boyfriend.
-To every girl that just wants to hold hands.
-To every girl that kisses him with meaning.
-To every girl who just wishes he CARED.
-To every girl that just wants to cuddle.
-To every girl that just wants to sleep (no sex) with him.
-To every girl that is scared to put her heart out there again because she has been hurt so many times. (so true!)
-To every girl who shows how much she cares and gets nothing back.
-To every girl that thought maybe this could be the one.
-To every girl that believes in her dreams.
-To every girl that would do anything so she could achieve them.
-To every girl that laughs at stupid stuff when she actually does think it is funny.
-To every girl who is just looking for that one and only and is having a rough time along the way.
-To every girl that has been cheated on because she's not the kind of girl who gives it up to any guy.
-To every girl that doesnt want a guy who just plays wit her emotions but actually CARES about how she feels.
-To every girl who wants words backed up with actions.
- To every girl that fell for all the lies only to find themselves alone in the end.
**To every girl that gave her heart away to have it shoved back in her face.**
THIS ONE IS FOR YOU.
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