This weekend has been interesting...and not interesting all in one. On Friday I was home alone. My plan was to stay in my jammies...and watch Harry Potter all night long...but I had cabin fever and needed to get away...so my good friend Gin came and we went to the mall...I got Faith's Christmas present and saw my sister!
Saturday I went up to the church at the butt crack of dawn to watch the kids that didn't show up. I did get to talk to Liz a lot and that was fun! I am glad that she and I are beginning to hang out more. She's a lot of fun and I need more friends...oy with the poodles already...
Today has been good. I don't know...I have this feeling in the pit of my stomache. I feel nervous and anxious all at the same time, and I randomly want to start crying. I hate feeling this way. I am an unexpected ball of emotions and I don't want to blow up at anyone of confuse anyone or make anyone mad...I hate being me...I really genuinely do. I know everyone questions how that could be, but I feel like my heart is shattered into a million pieces and I'm never going to be whole again.
I'm not even talking about just the guy issue, but every time I turn around I feel like I see something else wrong with me. One more thing that I need to fix. One more reason why no one will ever love me. One more reason why things will never be how I want them to be. I don't know...maybe some day everything will fall into place...but maybe not...maybe this is how I will be forever...
My Heart Can't Take Much More...
Jess
(Jing...I calmed down...don't worry about me)
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