Recently I was looking through old pictures for my brother's wedding when I ran across pictures of me as a baby. I've seen many pictures from my childhood, but these had somehow never gotten around for my viewing pleasure. My mom says I've seen them, and then she quickly said..."Well, you were there"
Whatever the case may be, I do not remember ever seeing these pictures, but as I sat in the floor looking through them I couldn't help but thinking, "Wow, I was a beautiful baby". I oohed and ahhed over the pictures as though I were looking at someone else's child.
I've never been comfortable with the word beautiful. It used to drive my mom crazy, because I have no problem saying that I am cute and maybe even pretty, but beautiful is not an adjective I feel properly describes me. As I looked at those pictures, I realized that beauty had touched me at one point. I still don't feel comfortable saying that I am beautiful. My sister, she's the beauty in our family. Her dark complexion and dark eyes always made her look exotic and mysterious. Her hold on beauty was always apparent. I, on the other hand, am a big goof ball with a silly personality. I have beautiful eyes, but beautiful is not something that encompasses my outward appearance. I think people consider this outlook to be modesty, but I honestly don't see myself as beautiful.
Looking at these pictures made me reevaluate the way I view myself. I need to take ownership and the creation that God made me. I should be able to say that I'm beautiful, although I do believe it will take me quite a while for that to happen, but I know that one day I will be brave enough to say it.
So...beautiful...not such a scary word after all.
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