He says I'm gorgeous. He calls me beautiful. He holds nothing back when it comes to the fact that he wants to spend time with me and get to know me. I am both flattered and flabbergasted. I know that I am pretty and funny. I am witty and charming, but that doesn't keep me from being in a state of awe when a guy is interested in me. I always find it rather ironic that I don't understand why guys aren't interested in me, but the moment they are I wonder why. How does that even work?
I don't know how to explain the fact that I exude confidence but somehow cringe at the idea of a compliment. When someone genuinely tells me I'm beautiful I can't take it seriously. I think somehow there is a hidden camera show that I have become a part of and someone is going to hop out at any moment and say, ha...just kidding.
I want to be open to new possibilities, but the unknown scares me for the most part. I hope that I can at least explore the possibility that someone could find me that attractive. I want to give him a chance...to let him take me to dinner...or walk around the lake...I want to not revert back to the shy girl who doesn't believe someone would be interested in her, but I want to be that amazingly strong woman who knows any guy would be lucky to have her.
Ultimately, I believe that I am beautiful and that one day someone that I believe is worth my time will step up to the plate and be the man I've always imagined I'd be with. I know, without a doubt, that I deserve to be happy more than anything else...so that's what I will do. This guy is a kid who thinks he's smooth...but the truth is...I'm too old for lines that the younger me would have fallen for. I want realism, not romance. I want to be swept off my feet by someone who I can be real with...that is what I find to be something worth waiting for.
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