Messed Up In the Head

So, over the last week I have been exceptionally clingy. I enjoy having a conversation every now and then but I generally don't feel the need to talk to the person all day, every day. For some reason though, I've been on a texting rampage and can't seem to back off. I don't know if the people I'm texting are annoyed, but I know I'm getting on my own nerves :-/ It's been slightly more than ridiculous, so last night, I laid in bed and thought about it.

Why in the world do I suddenly feel this need to be wanted? Then it hit me. It was like this gigantic light went off in my head. My best guy friend is no longer my best guy friend. He was the guy I could get the male perspective from, and then, all of the sudden, he was out of my life. He even deleted me from Facebook, or at least he hasn't added me back since I alerted him to the fact that we aren't friends anymore.

He has a new girlfriend. And I guess I understand that means things have changed and that somehow we can never be the friends that we once were...but it sucks and it has completely messed me up in the head. So...that is why this last week I have felt desperate to have the connection of best guy friend, and why I have completely driven myself, and probably others, crazy. I don't like being needy, because I like to consider myself a rather self-sufficient person. I need to let go of this and to let myself realize that not having that connection for right now is going to be ok.

I can survive without it, but I hope with all my heart that God sends someone my way who will fill that gap. I need that connection. So, if you were one of those that I drove crazy (and there's really only one person that this possibly effected) I sincerely apologize.