I know that I put up a good front in this whole till death do us part thing, but the honest truth is that I am ready to get in that forever and ever kind of a relationship. I still hold to the fact that I want to wait for Mr. Right, and not Mr. Right Now, but why can't I meet Mr. Right, right now? Life is inevitably made up of the twists and turns that make life worth it, I just wish for once that those twists and turns would wind up dropping me right into the lap of the man of my dreams. I suppose the mystery is what will make it so great in the end. I hate mysteries!!!
I know that I am not past my prime, I doubt that I've even hit it yet, but there is something inside me that so longs for that perfect puzzle piece that will fit my very oddly shaped one. I just don't want my desire for that forever relationship to blind me. For instance, if I were to meet a guy that would make a great potential partner, then I would probably put everything I have into it. This is what I did in my last relationship and I ended up being more concerned about where our relationship was headed than where our relationship was at the time. I ended up with a busted relationship and a broken heart.
Why does it have to all seem so difficult? Why can't I just open my eyes and see the man standing right in front of me? I mean, they say you know when you know, but really, what kind of answer is that? I don't want to be this impatient, I don't even want to want it this bad, I just know that right now, in this moment, I do. I will get there, and I know that. I just feel as though my hopes are slipping away. I want to trust God completely, but I find myself wanting to rely on me. What is wrong with me? Maybe someday I'll have the answers, or maybe one day years from now I will be sitting here asking the same questions
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