I don't know why but all of the sudden my heart hurts and all I want to do is cry. Maybe I do know why, but I just don't want everyone else to know. I just wish it would stay safe, my heart that is, locked away from others. I don't want to open up my heart anymore...it has been hurt too many times...I know I usually do the encouraging guys, and I am sorry, but tonight the tears are falling and I can't make them stop.
I know that this is an attack of satan...it has to be. Everything has been wonderful for the last two days. I have been on fire...I have been immersed in the word...I have been an encourager...I have enjoyed work...This has to be a spiritual attack...I don't want to hurt like this...I don't want to cry...I hate the tears...they make me feel weak...please pray that God build me up...because tonight I feel torn down.
I hate this up and down roller coaster so much...It reminds me of things I'd rather forget. I want to feel whole again...You have no idea how just writing this down has helped...you guys are awesome...
Jess
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