Life has a funny way of making you aware of who you are. Until recently I have struggled with myself. I know that many people are shocked when I say that I hate me, but it has been a hatred lasting many years. Why, you may ask, would you hate yourself? Well the answer is simple in my mind, but may sound rediculous to you. I hate myself simply because I can never be the person I want to be. I am weak and broken, yet I try to uphold the masquerade that I am strong and able to face the world. I fail daily and I feel as though I shouldn't.
I have learned in the past few months that it is ok for me to mess up. I am happy being me. It has taken me a long time to get to that point. To be able to say that I like me is a huge step in my mind's eye. I have decided recently that my life is ok, no matter the disappointments that come my way. I am stronger now than I have ever been before. And for that, I am happy. I want to love me the way that other's do. I also realize that I am loved. I need to be loved. I have been failed in that area one too many times, and now I know that I have the ulitmate love.
I am going to keep living with this new outlook. I am going to keep giving God my all. I am going to love myself, despite my down falls. I am going to be stronger in who I am, and I am not going to let myself fall down that pit again. You are seeing a new me, and I am excited to see where that me is going to go.
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