Deja Vu

Have you ever felt as though you have had the same experience twice. Tonight I felt as though I had a flashback of two months ago...It was amazing how the same exact feelings rushed over me. Feelings of confusion, anger and hurt all hit me with the same force as the time before. I just don't understand how I get myself into these situations...where I have made life so complicated. I still think this is all a distraction that satan has put me up against...because I truly believe that God has something big for me right now and satan knows it. he wants me to be distracted so that I cannot complete the work that God began in me. I refuse to doubt the promises that God has laid before me...I will continue to rejoice...no matter what the circumstances...
Here is a poem I wrote today...I just want to get it out there...to have it down...out of my head and shared with my friends...

Words spoken without contemplation
Have caused my heart the aggravation
Of torture, anguish, sorrow, grief
From these things find I no relief.
That I laid to rest a love unspoken
That threatens now to never be woken
Leaves me with the bitter thought of this,
To never find love lost or that love's first kiss.

I've never known love to be absolute
And so I have chosen to be resolute
In my findings. I've stood unyielding
All along my heart I've been shielding
From the pain that has damaged my existence.
As for the reason of my resistence,
I've been unable to believe in love so pure
Thus when it was spoken I was unsure.

Won't you please hear my feeble cry?
My heart is broken, and so am I,
To think your affection would waver
Because of a conviction which did quaver.
Do not let these mistaken words once stated
Be the source of a friendship dissuaded.
I do not know myself untrue
Please know that if I could I would all undo.

Second chances are not my lot in life
And so in these words I rid myself of strife.
You can only love so long without love in return
This is a lesson I have woefully learned.
In these truths I reveal my soul
Knowing the time has come for me to let go.
I lay down this burden I have carried along
Without regret, for it has only made me strong.