My Tendency to Overthink

I think that my tendency to overthink has something to do with the fact that I am a female. I am not sure if the male brain is programmed to overthink, but I know that I do it on a regular basis. And this isn't even in reference to my dealings with the opposite sex, although I will touch on this in a little bit...I am talking about over analyzing every little thing in life.

Let's take for example, a recent interaction with a close friend. All of the sudden she had disappeared. She was no longer my friend on Facebook, so I did a search for her and couldn't find her anywhere...so I wasn't the only one who no longer had her as a friend. So I tried to text her and she didn't answer. All of the sudden, all I could think was, what did I do wrong? I was devastated really. I couldn't imagine what I could have done that would have made her not want to talk to me anymore. Well today, I got a note from her on my desk at work. She had stopped by and said we had tons to catch up on and that she was having her phone turned back on Thursday. I felt so incredibly silly, but this is how my brain works.

I would love to be nonchalant about everything, but that is not how I am programmed. Most days I pretend that it doesn't rip my heart out that people I once considered my best friends no longer have time for me. I have had to push them out of my head because it hurts really bad and cuts pretty deep. I have a rough exterior...I consider it my greatest form of self-defense. But on the interior...I'm soft as mush. I would imagine I'm very similar to a turtle. I have a tough shell that protects me from the great big, ugly world, but without that shell I wouldn't last very long. I am the same way. I have that rough exterior because I know without it I wouldn't survive.

I generally don't let many people past that rough exterior (most people probably think they are, but that's the brilliance in my design). I have been hurt too many times to let people do it again, which is why I have to push these people to the side. I just got tired of making people a priority when I was only an option for them (I know...not very original). I'm better than that though, really. I deserve to have people in my life who want to spend time with me (what a crazy concept). So...I suck it up and climb back into my shell and let these things pass by me knowing that I can easily get to the other side.

So much for not overthinking things...

Now...when it comes to the opposite sex. I have decided that they are simpler than we make them...so I don't spend as much of my energy trying to figure them out. The key to not overthinking is to not think at all. I believe I will leave you with that jewel and let you ponder it's supreme genius.