On the Outside Looking In

To Those Who May Be Listening:

I love my life and I have for a while. If you don't know me, this is a big thing...I used to hate myself and had very low self-esteem (not that I still don't, it's just a lot better than it used to be). I love my job...every day presents a new challenge and every week I learn something new. My students make my day and my week.

The weekends are great, because I have been blessed with amazing friends. The down side right now is that I hate driving to Lakeland to do anything with them. Not that I don't want to, but when you've been up since five and you've been with kids all day long, most of the time you just want to chill. I think God is going to either have to move me closer to my friends, or give me new friends closer to me.

I don't know, I just feel what I have always felt...that I just don't belong. I've never fit in, and I've always been the outsider. Don't get me wrong, I am accepted anywhere I go, but I'm always on the outside looking in. Every now and then they see me and think they should invite me in...and that's how it has always been, but maybe someday I'll find that place where being on the outside is not an option.