Thursday, November 17, 2005

I'm a Hopeless Case...

Well...a hopeless romantic anyways...I wrote this a few weeks ago...

"There are times in our lives when we meet a person who takes our breath away. Each moment spent with them feels too short and every moment spent apart feels like an eternity. They make you smile and wipe your tears away. No matter what happens you feel as though they are the best thing that could have ever happened to you. It's hard to explain to others how your heart races and your mind can't even think. You are taken away by a rush of emotions that are unfamiliar to you. Life seems to hold more meaning."

I think it is amazing how we see things. I mean, that feeling seemed so real to me. I guess it was more like a balloon ready to be popped. I should have seen it coming. I should have known that it wasn't right for me...but you have no ideal how much I wish it were. It's never right. Never the right time, the right guy, the right moment, the right anything, and so I am here at this point again...wishing to rewind these last two weeks...not because I regret them...because I don't regret ANY of it!...but because there are some moments I wish I could change...

"Just friends" seems like a saying I've heard my entire life...for as long as I can remember I have just been one of the guys...I've never been the girlfriend (not really anyways)...both of the guys I dated were on the rebound after serious relationships...and here I am 24 in five days and the logest relationship I've had lasted four months...

Answer me this, is there something wrong with me...? Am I really that ugly! I mean, I know I'm not, but I feel like everytime I think there is a chance, it's gone.

I don't even want a serious relationship right now, just someone who will take me to dinner, or that I can just talk to...I miss my guy friends...I want another Scott (sorry Gin)...I miss having that...

Now I have to go before I cry...I don't want to cry...

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