It has taken me several years to get to the place I am now...Where I actually enjoy who I am...where I am going...what I am doing...I remember when I was a child...My faith was so strong...I believed (and still do) that God was my everything...and that my purpose in life is to live like Christ...I was such a little warrior...such a vessel...always fighting the good fight...I wanted nothing more than to give everything to God...and never hold back...He was my everything...my all in all...
As I grew up I maintained this mind frame...always giving of everything I had...everything I was...I was a prayer warrior...and fighter...I enjoyed nothing more than allowing myself to soak in the presence of God...One of the most amazing times was when I was in high school and I literally felt as though I were in the river of God...it was so amazing to feel as though the water of God were rushing around me...and then there was the time I saw the angel...That was amazing...you might think I'm crazy...and maybe I am...but I truly believe that I was allowed to see the supernatural at work...to watch as a prayer warrior in the heavenlies prayed with me in my earthly form...God was with me then...He's still with me now...and I know that He is longing for a deeper walk with me...that He wants to take me to a new place...and I am looking foward to it...
When I was 20 years old I made a bold...no...stupid...mistake...I put 10 pills in my hand and I placed them in my mouth...I swallowed them as though they were the pain that I could never seem to get rid of...as though they were the years of failure that I couldn't seem to shake...I took them and I hoped that I would die...I prayed for death...I prayed that I would go to sleep and never wake up...God had other plans...He woke me up...He pumped my stomach...He wasn't done with me yet...
I look back on that time and I know that God must have kept me around for a reason...I know that He has to have something big in store for me...and I know that the enemy isn't ready and willing to just let me do it....Recently the biggest distraction has been this whole relationship thing...I want to be in that relationship so bad...and I keep feeling as though evey year is going to be the year...maybe this next year I will go into things thinking that this is NOT going to be the year...that it is not at all what God has for me...and maybe when that is the case it won't be so hard when it comes to the end of next year...I am really actually liking that idea...WOW!
I am so excited to see what all lies ahead of me...what all is coming up...God is doing something amazing...be a part of it...don't let the things around distract you...God is ready...are you...???
IT BEGINS!!!
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