I decided tonight that I am not meant to sleep. It's not that sleep doesn't come to me, it's just that God allows different people to wake me each night. Sometimes it is somewhat expected, other times, it is not expected at all. I suppose this is again my chance to talk to God, and yes, I am taking that chance now...
It's so strange how I can feel so much at once...I am so happy, yet so sad all at the time...and I feel like a battle is raging inside of me...I love where I am...I love the family I work for, these kids are my life...I love them each SO much...everyday I feel that I learn something new from them...they make so happy...and yet...I feel so very alone...my soul is deseperate for more...
Why is it so hard for us to lay things down at his feet? Well...I guess that is not the hard part...what is truly difficult is leaving it there...I've felt this way many times about many things...I will lay something down that I am chained to...but instead of undoing the chain...I stay connected to it...and even though it's there at the feet of Jesus...I am still connected to it...still holding on to a bit of what I need let go of...why is it so difficult for us to just let go and let God?!?!?!?!?!?!?
I just want to let God be God...why is that so hard for us to do?
1 comment:
My heart yearn to help! To have all the answers! The battle within will continue to rage until you accept it and realize that it is a part of who God made you to be. This battle keeps you grounded and headed in the right direction. Without God, you would be people we know and love who do not know him. A single twist and you are there! A single twist! God stirs your heart and your mind and cries out to you....listen! You, like me, are extremely talkative. It's hard to listen and listen clearly. It is when you and God come together and you realize that you are just the way you are supposed to be for such a time as this...look all around you and realize the blessings that are there for you! I believe in you...you are stronger than you give yourself credit for. Ask what now Lord? What more, not necessarily want more! See...no quick answers from me. My heart yearns to help you as you seek more of God! I wish my answers were full of wisdom. This is what you must do for yourself....to accept yourself! In acceptance comes true joy and peace. The peace of God that passeth all understanding. May you know the blessings of God and my He make his face to shine upon you and give you the peace you desire and the wisdom and knowledge of His grace! You are more than a conqueror in Christ! You can amd must do all things through Christ! He has HIS plans for you even from before you were formed! You have double blessings...you were baptized even in the womb, God had a purpose for that! He knew that you are a great woman of God! You are a woman of virtue! Stand firm, therefore, when all else happens, then just stand on the Word of God that lives and exists within your soul!
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