Bump in the Road

Not that I didn't expect it to happen sooner or later...I guess I was just hoping for later...

I don't know why I let myself slip and fall...I also don't know why I am allowing myself to dwell on my mistakes...God has already forgiven me...I just have to pick up and keep on moving forward...I hate that satan knows exactly where to attack me...and the thing is...I give in so easily. I need to be stronger here...I need to allow God to have this area of my life...it is my weakness...and it is where I am tempted the most...

I just finished a book called Soul Cravings...and I know that we fill our lives with many things because we are looking for some type of fulfillment...More than anything I just want to be wanted...I want someone to desire me...to love me...to want to spend their life with me...but many times I find myself giving in to the imitation of intimacy because I become weary of waiting for the precious reality that God has for me...

I love where I have been these last few days...I am happy with where my life is and where it is going...but I don't want to be mediocre...I don't want to give in to the desires of the flesh...because those desires will come and go...but my desire for my Lord...well...that is something that will always be there...through it all...

I know that God has something in store for me...and I am so scared that my distractions will not allow me to see what God has right in front of me...so I pray that I can grow stronger...because I don't want to miss out on ALL that God has for me...