If you know me, or if you've ever read my blog, you would probably know the thing I struggle with the most. It always seems as though I am on a roller coaster when it comes to this subject and it is the thing that I have the hardest time with.
Being Single.
It's not that I dislike being single. In fact, I would even say that I enjoy being single on a regular basis. It is the every now and then that I begin to think about my single status that wears me down. The last couple of days have been like that for me. It's not that I don't believe God has the right person out there for me, it's that I don't understand (and I know I will one day) why I'm having to wait so long. The older I get, the harder this is to understand.
Some days it feels as though everyone around me has found someone and then I look around and I realize that a lot of my friends are still single, just not the friends that I'm around on a regular basis. I generally find myself stuck between the people who are married, or the college students who are not. I sometimes feel like I've failed a little in life by not finding someone who loves me enough to want to spend the rest of their life with me. Then I have to remind myself NOT to think negatively. It doesn't always work though.
I wish, more than anything, that there was a way to have a glimpse in to the future. I don't have to know who, but if I could have a rough estimate of when??? That would be helpful. I just get tired of the waiting sometimes. I know that the best thing comes for those who wait, and I don't want to settle for something less than that, but seriously, I don't know how much more I can handle before I just throw the towel in.
Maybe my expectations are too high. Maybe I want more than what is realistically available out there. All I know that when the day ends I feel like I'm missing out. I'm about to do just that. But I probably won't...
1 comment:
I know I've said this kind of thing before, but being married isn't, in my opinion, an accomplishment. Think about it...have you ever met someone who was really mean, angry, annoying, ugly, etc. that was married? The accomplishment is being the best possible YOU that you can be. If you are that, than you are a success, Jessica. I know that you desire to be married, and God knows that. He loves you, and He knows when it is best for you to meet and/or date and get married. Remember, life is a journey, not a destination. You don't want to get married, and be like...this is it? Just like before you are married is a journey, so is married life. I will be praying for you...and know He's looking out for YOU!
You know, at one time I wished that I had known my husband since we were in high school, because I thought of all the great things about it...however, had I known him earlier I would have never given him the time of day (I had a guy bestfriend growing up who was a lot like my husband...and as a younger person def. wasn't someone I would've wanted to marry!!)
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