Boys...I was skimming through a book of mine entitled "Lady in Waiting" and began to read the underlined or highlighted sections of the chapters. I realized what I have been saying the last few months...that I am happy/content with being single. As I sat there looking through that book I reminded myself that I still feel that way. I enjoy being single, knowing that God is shaping my story. I love that He has my plan in His hand and that I don't have to worry about it at all. Looking at that book though, I also realized that I haven't matured much in my outlook on relationships. I read the book when I was a junior in college and here I am five years later and have little difference in the way I handle relationships. I would love to be involved in a mature relationship where things seem to have high functionality. Not that I can't, but I don't know that I am doing very well at the whole acting mature thing.
I don't know if this is due in part to the fact that I've never really had a mature relationship, and while i have been in relationships I don't know how valid I would count them. I have decided that I am just going to refocus on my happiness, the love of my job, and life today. I will stop looking to the possibliity of a relationship, and will refocus on my relationship with Christ.
I am still excited about life, about where I am headed and about where I am at. I know that God is in charge of this whole possible relationship thing, or lack thereof...and I will just let Him have control...I will just mess things up...Who knows what's in store...
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