Well...I don't really hate life. I just wish I understood things better than I actually do. Things have been so great and then all of the sudden I have a crash and burn and things are horrible again. This weekend has been a total downer for me...I hate that I get this sad and depressed...it makes me MAD! I just get so frustrated...and even more so when I can't explain to people what is wrong with me...I know what's wrong...I truly do...I just don't know how to tell other people so they actually understand why it's wrong...
Last night our college and career group had a progressive dinner...and while this should have been a great time full of fun...I just feel so out of place...I told my friend Justin the other day...I am stuck between two worlds...My friends are either all in college or all married...I have no one in between...and because of that I usually get left out of both worlds and then I belong nowhere...this might sound like one huge pity party...and maybe it is...but this is where I am right now...Even when I am surrounded by people I feel completely alone...
Why can't I just find a place where I belong? I've always been out of place...I've never been able to fit in to a place where I belong...I just stick out...I am born to be different...I should rejoice in my uniqueness...
God has given me this to carry for a reason...and I know that...He wants me to stand strong in the person that I am...and I am trying!!! This weekend has just been so hard...I want to belong...but I don't want to change...I love who I am...I just wish I felt like I belonged...Maybe someday I will find the place where I fit...until then I guess I will just be a square peg in a round hole...
No comments:
Post a Comment