When the words leave my head and find their way on to the pages I feel a relief. It is therapeutic to somehow get these things out of me. These last few weeks have me spiraling down into a deep depression that scares me. I haven't felt this way in years and I don't know what is keeping me here. I hate this more than anything else in the world.
My life is great. I have a good job, a loving family, and some pretty decent friends. I don't have anything to be sad about or upset about. I don't have any reason to be anxious, but I feel as though I've lost all control of reality. As much as I know that these things are real, I can't quite get a grip. I feel anxious and nervous, and I've never been so paranoid in my life. I am freaking out and I can't seem to get back on solid ground.
I am having to remind myself to breathe, and it's getting harder than it should be. I keep thinking I will wake up and that things will be back to normal. I keep thinking that I'm going get it together...but it's getting harder to actually believe it. I need to step back and let life just happen.
I don't know what's going to happen, or when I will level out...but I need it to happen soon!
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